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Love Match

Summary: 5 signs that you ve met your perfect matchBy Amy Spencer Wonder if this one s the one Below some telltale tip offs you two are headed for happily ever afterplus five clear cut clues that spell bad news First the good news You re headed toward happily ever after if 1 You discover quirky things you have in commonIt s one thing to discover you both like the new Coldplay album It s another to discover your tastes or habits jibe in more surprising ways What confuses people is that they think they re a match because they have things in common that many people have in common like favorite books or songs so they re fooled into thinking they re on the same wavelength says Sam R Hamburg Ph D author of Will Our Love Last The more uncommon and surprising your similarities are the better That was definitely the case for one Rochester New York dater named Patrick McAvoy I have this weird habit of belting out what I m doing in song so when I started dating Bethany one morning I started singing Here I am in the shower to the tune of Jesus Christ Superstar recalls the 29 year old When she started singing back making up more words to the same tune I couldn t believe it I knew it would work out And it hasfor three years so far 2 Neither of you flinch when the future comes upIt s a new couple nightmare One of you blurts out something like Ooh next summer we should go to Greece and then freezes fearing the other person will think Next year We don t even know if we ll make it to next month But if you and your date don t bat an eye or better smile and agree you ve successfully crossed a crucial divide It s a sign that you both feel stable in the relationship says Sharyn Wolf author of So You Want To Get Married Guerilla Tactics For Turning A Date Into A Mate So while we don t suggest making plans with your date for next Christmas take careful notes on what happens if you do mention some advance planning 3 It s super important that your friends like your new partnerYou thought introducing your date to your parents was the ultimate test On the contrary introducing him or her to your friends is even more pivotal That s because while you can t choose your family you can choose your friends so they reflect the person you ve become over the years So if you find yourself prepping your pals about someone you d really like them to meet it s a sign you re seeing this relationship as more than just a fling When I introduced my girlfriend Yvi to my friends I was completely nervous beforehand because we were from such different worldsshe was a Hispanic girl from Newark and I was a banker from the Jersey shore says Dave Koczan Santiago And truthfully things didn t click right away But when I realized how important it was to me that they all like each other I knew the relationship was a bigger deal to me than I even thought it was Now here we are ten years later happily married 4 You think in we terms even when the going gets toughSooner or later all couples start transitioning from Hey what are you doing Saturday night to Hey what are we doing Saturday night Sure that s good but for a real gauge on your relationship see how you react to these scenarios If your date wants to leave a party early do you happily offer to leave as a couple rather than feeling annoyed or wanting to stay on your own If your boss wants you to plan a business trip do you wonder whether it fits with your sweetie s schedule These are signs you re truly willing to merge lives and it s all the more telling if you weren t into your date s thing to begin with I live in New York and could live my whole life without a car and be happy but when my boyfriend said he wanted to bring his Chevy pickup with him when he moved here from Boston of course I offered to help him find cheap insurance and parking says Erin Brennan The interesting thing is that after driving it a few times and investing all the time in helping him I found myself telling people about our truck and really starting to understand why he loves it so much 5 You constantly stumble across things you want to shareMost couples will exchange a few thinking of you phone calls or emails when they re apart But if you can t walk down the street without tripping over some funny story to tell later or can t leave a store without thinking at least once Oh my sweetie would love that then things are rosy indeed Basically it s a sign that while you may not realize you re thinking about your date you are and just can t help it explains Wolf Now the bad news You could be headed toward a dead end if 1 You roll your eyes at each other during an argumentYou say potato your date says well even if he or she says it the same way it s a given you re not going to see eye to eye on everything And that s okayyour differences are what make things interesting But while disagreeing is fine it s bad news if one of you rolls your eyes at the other during the argument The reason you roll your eyes at someone is because the other person is saying something you think makes absolutely no sense to you and you don t respect what they re saying says Hamburg And since R E S P E C T is the cornerstone to any good relationship take any eye rolling you or your mate does as a bad omen 2 You can t handle the uncomfortable silencesEvery date has its quiet lulls here and there when the dialogue runs dry and if these moments don t faze you congratulations for reaching that comfort level But if you find yourself squirming in your seat trying to come up with things to say checking your cell phone hoping to find a voicemail or going back to the same old topics Have you talked to your sister lately that could spell trouble since it shows you re not really relaxed when you re around them Take it from Jason Parker of Atlanta The whole time my date and I were eating dinner we d have moments of silence during which she kept checking her cell phone he says Finally I asked her if she was waiting for a call and she said No I m just checking the time As if that was any better Whether this gal was indeed nervous or just plain rude either way Jason was relieved when their brief relationship was happily over 3 Your dates are always chock full of distractionsIt s healthy for you and your love to fill your time together with fun activities and mutual friendsthat is as long as that s not all you do together It s not a good sign if the only things you re saying to each other are Let s hang with friends or let s do something like go to the ballgame or a movie says Wolf The reason These things are buffers that help you avoid really getting to know each other which may indicate that your one on one time ain t so thrilling If an offer of Tonight let s just hang out together alone doesn t sound exciting ask yourself Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person 4 You find yourself criticizing little things about each otherEveryone tends to be positive to each other on the first few dates but if the other person starts making critical comments like they don t like what you re wearing that s not good says Dr Hamburg Criticism whether you realize it or not is a way of pushing someone awayso if either of you are saying things that seem innocuous like That shirt looks weird or How can you stand living on this street you re tapping into a bigger problem As time passes you should find yourself wanting to treat your partner as well as you did at the beginning of your relationship says Bonnie Eaker Weil Ph D a relationship expert in New York NY If not consider this breakdown in polite behavior very bad news 5 You only want to deal with each other when the chips are upIt s a red flag if the person you re with gives you the cold shoulder when you re not feeling hunky dory about something in your life Happily ever after means loving or at least liking someone when life isn t so sweet I was seeing a guy who was usually wonderful but when I would have a bad day and wanted to just talk to him or be near him I d call and he wouldn t call back for days says Rachel Harrison of Brooklyn NY He just didn t seem to want to know the whole me in good times and bad And being able to weather the tough times together is definitely a quality that every good relationship needs 5 signs that you ve met your perfect matchBy Amy Spencer Wonder if this one s the one Below some telltale tip offs you two are headed for happily ever afterplus five clear cut clues that spell bad news First the good news You re headed toward happily ever after if 1 You discover quirky things you have in commonIt s one thing to discover you both like the new Coldplay album It s another to discover your tastes or habits jibe in more surprising ways What confuses people is that they think they re a match because they have things in common that many people have in common like favorite books or songs so they re fooled into thinking they re on the same wavelength says Sam R Hamburg Ph D author of Will Our Love Last The more uncommon and surprising your similarities are the better That was definitely the case for one Rochester New York dater named Patrick McAvoy I have this weird habit of belting out what I m doing in song so when I started dating Bethany one morning I started singing Here I am in the shower to the tune of Jesus Christ Superstar recalls the 29 year old When she started singing back making up more words to the same tune I couldn t believe it I knew it would work out And it hasfor three years so far 2 Neither of you flinch when the future comes upIt s a new couple nightmare One of you blurts out something like Ooh next summer we should go to Greece and then freezes fearing the other person will think Next year We don t even know if we ll make it to next month But if you and your date don t bat an eye or better smile and agree you ve successfully crossed a crucial divide It s a sign that you both feel stable in the relationship says Sharyn Wolf author of So You Want To Get Married Guerilla Tactics For Turning A Date Into A Mate So while we don t suggest making plans with your date for next Christmas take careful notes on what happens if you do mention some advance planning 3 It s super important that your friends like your new partnerYou thought introducing your date to your parents was the ultimate test On the contrary introducing him or her to your friends is even more pivotal That s because while you can t choose your family you can choose your friends so they reflect the person you ve become over the years So if you find yourself prepping your pals about someone you d really like them to meet it s a sign you re seeing this relationship as more than just a fling When I introduced my girlfriend Yvi to my friends I was completely nervous beforehand because we were from such different worldsshe was a Hispanic girl from Newark and I was a banker from the Jersey shore says Dave Koczan Santiago And truthfully things didn t click right away But when I realized how important it was to me that they all like each other I knew the relationship was a bigger deal to me than I even thought it was Now here we are ten years later happily married 4 You think in we terms even when the going gets toughSooner or later all couples start transitioning from Hey what are you doing Saturday night to Hey what are we doing Saturday night Sure that s good but for a real gauge on your relationship see how you react to these scenarios If your date wants to leave a party early do you happily offer to leave as a couple rather than feeling annoyed or wanting to stay on your own If your boss wants you to plan a business trip do you wonder whether it fits with your sweetie s schedule These are signs you re truly willing to merge lives and it s all the more telling if you weren t into your date s thing to begin with I live in New York and could live my whole life without a car and be happy but when my boyfriend said he wanted to bring his Chevy pickup with him when he moved here from Boston of course I offered to help him find cheap insurance and parking says Erin Brennan The interesting thing is that after driving it a few times and investing all the time in helping him I found myself telling people about our truck and really starting to understand why he loves it so much 5 You constantly stumble across things you want to shareMost couples will exchange a few thinking of you phone calls or emails when they re apart But if you can t walk down the street without tripping over some funny story to tell later or can t leave a store without thinking at least once Oh my sweetie would love that then things are rosy indeed Basically it s a sign that while you may not realize you re thinking about your date you are and just can t help it explains Wolf Now the bad news You could be headed toward a dead end if 1 You roll your eyes at each other during an argumentYou say potato your date says well even if he or she says it the same way it s a given you re not going to see eye to eye on everything And that s okayyour differences are what make things interesting But while disagreeing is fine it s bad news if one of you rolls your eyes at the other during the argument The reason you roll your eyes at someone is because the other person is saying something you think makes absolutely no sense to you and you don t respect what they re saying says Hamburg And since R E S P E C T is the cornerstone to any good relationship take any eye rolling you or your mate does as a bad omen 2 You can t handle the uncomfortable silencesEvery date has its quiet lulls here and there when the dialogue runs dry and if these moments don t faze you congratulations for reaching that comfort level But if you find yourself squirming in your seat trying to come up with things to say checking your cell phone hoping to find a voicemail or going back to the same old topics Have you talked to your sister lately that could spell trouble since it shows you re not really relaxed when you re around them Take it from Jason Parker of Atlanta The whole time my date and I were eating dinner we d have moments of silence during which she kept checking her cell phone he says Finally I asked her if she was waiting for a call and she said No I m just checking the time As if that was any better Whether this gal was indeed nervous or just plain rude either way Jason was relieved when their brief relationship was happily over 3 Your dates are always chock full of distractionsIt s healthy for you and your love to fill your time together with fun activities and mutual friendsthat is as long as that s not all you do together It s not a good sign if the only things you re saying to each other are Let s hang with friends or let s do something like go to the ballgame or a movie says Wolf The reason These things are buffers that help you avoid really getting to know each other which may indicate that your one on one time ain t so thrilling If an offer of Tonight let s just hang out together alone doesn t sound exciting ask yourself Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person 4 You find yourself criticizing little things about each otherEveryone tends to be positive to each other on the first few dates but if the other person starts making critical comments like they don t like what you re wearing that s not good says Dr Hamburg Criticism whether you realize it or not is a way of pushing someone awayso if either of you are saying things that seem innocuous like That shirt looks weird or How can you stand living on this street you re tapping into a bigger problem As time passes you should find yourself wanting to treat your partner as well as you did at the beginning of your relationship says Bonnie Eaker Weil Ph D a relationship expert in New York NY If not consider this breakdown in polite behavior very bad news 5 You only want to deal with each other when the chips are upIt s a red flag if the person you re with gives you the cold shoulder when you re not feeling hunky dory about something in your life Happily ever after means loving or at least liking someone when life isn t so sweet I was seeing a guy who was usually wonderful but when I would have a bad day and wanted to just talk to him or be near him I d call and he wouldn t call back for days says Rachel Harrison of Brooklyn NY He just didn t seem to want to know the whole me in good times and bad And being able to weather the tough times together is definitely a quality that every good relationship needs

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