Voicemail

Whats the funniest answering machine / voicemail message you ever heard?What would you like to ask?

whats the funniest answering machine / voicemail message you ever heard?? or the funniest voicemail you ever created on your phone?? ..... the most creative one gets the points!!!

Public Comments

1. My husband's cousin recently left a ridiculous one on his phone. He said "this is Joe Black (using his real name), the last four of my social are 4356. Feel free to steal my identity, I have bad credit anyway. I am leaving the country for 3 weeks and can be reached at this number in case of emergency. (number here). An emergency is if someone is dead. No, I can't do anything about it from there anyway. Just don't call me on vacation." Totally serious voice - business like.
2. my voicemail greeting - Thank you for calling the psychiatric hotline, If you're obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly, If you're co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2, If you're schizophrenic, listen carefully and the voice will tell you what number to press, If you're paranoid-delusional, I know where you are, stay put and someone will be along to collect you shortly, If you're in depression, it doesn't matter what number you press, no-one will answer...
3. When I was in junior high, there was a student teacher who was a weasly, geeky looking middle-aged man. My best friend's mother was a teacher's assistant, and she called him one night to discover his voice mail message was, " (His name) cannot answer the phone right now, for he is off in some fair maiden's dream. However, if thou carest to leave a personal message, surely he can be biden to return your call." Not only that, but as he spoke with a lisp, it seemed to be the funniest thing ever at the time. There's no telling how much money the school made off the pay phone outside during about a two-week time period before he changed the message to something more normal because of the high call volume. His number got around (it seems that a few others had it, also) and if there was a break where we were allowed outside to the pay phone or immediately after school when people were sure he wouldn't be home, we'd be calling just to hear the message and have a laugh. What's even more sad is that this man was going for about his fourth bachelor's degree after being ridiculed out of several fields of study, even after completing a degree program. At that point in time, he was studying to be a theater teacher, but got kicked out of the program before completing the degree after he let the boom fall during dress rehearsal for one of the university's major performances (it was just luck no one was injured!). About two years later, we found him working as a sacker at a local grocery store. Never heard what happened to him after that ...
4. The best I heard was "Hello you have reached so-and-so, please leave a message after the tone, unless you are a telemarketer then you can GO TO HELL!!!!" This was a customer I was calling and I was laughing so hard I had to call back to actually leave the message. :)