Voicemail

What are some funny things to put for voicemail?

Not for when you leave a voicemail, but like "Leave a message after the beep." kinda thing.

Public Comments

1. Once I put : Hi , this is Julie , I can't answer the phone right now because my stupid boyfriend dumped me and I'm crying ,so please , shut up and call later ! ***Please leave you name number and message after the beep ***
2. pretend to answer the phone- like- "hello? ... hello?... is there anyone there? sorry i can't hear you then they'll think they've got through to you until they hear a beep and they'll be really confused...
3. Oh my gosh, hi, um.... guess what? Seriously, guess what? I'm not here right now. So just leave a message and I'll get back to you. - (loud fart) Ahh! -- OH! I didn't see you there. Well that's embarrassing. Anyways, tell me whatever the hell you want because I'm not here right now. That's right. You just listened to my gas, thinking I was here, when I clearly wasn't. Maximum ownage. - Hey there CuntSuckingPenisTicklingGlitterHobo, it's me (insert name here), and I'm ignoring you.... okay, jay kay guys, jay kay.... anyways, I'm kind of busy so just leave a message. BYE! - Hey guys, I'm busy getting hot wax spilled all over my vaj. So leave a message.
4. hey leave a message bye.