Voicemail - I feel like she's replacing me?

I feel like she's replacing me?

I could say I'm pretty well liked at my school. I'm not in that "popular" group, of course, but I have a good amount of friends -- probably the middle group on the social hierarchy.This year this new girl moved in named Stephanie and I feel like she's taken over my life. We have very similar personalities, only different in that she's more outgoing. She's also prettier than me and more of a petite person. I'm not sure if it's purposely or what, but she's seemed to have made friends with every single friend of mine. I honestly wish I could say I was exaggerating. I was probably her first friend here, and, being nice as I am, I took it upon myself to introduce her to everyone. They all took a liking to her immediately and I was happy. It started with my cross country friends. I used to be a runner but quit this year so I could manage my schedule. She, coincidentally, decided to start running for the first time this year with a similar pace to mine. All of my old running buddies now run with her and share our old jokes with her, forgetting that I'm the one who originally had created them. Another friend, Demi, one whom I've been working for over 2 years to become good friends with, took a liking to her instantly. They're now two peas in a pod, and Steph is better friends with her in these few months that she's lived here than I have ever been. My two best friends, Katie and Margaret, are now friends with her too. Katie is really friendly and bubbly, and so is Steph whenever she's around her. Margaret is more into school, and apparently so is Stephanie every time they have a conversation. I feel like she shapes her personality for other people. And the awful thing is that it works! A lot of other people like her and want to be her friend also. I'm no longer known for being the person that I am, but instead as Stephanie M's Friend. She steals my jokes all the time which bothers me. Example: my friends and I have this ongoing joke about how I constantly (and accidentally!) do weird things in front of my friend Katie's boyfriend. Now she's decided that she always does clumsy stuff in front of him, and everyone finds it hilarious. She even switched from texting with text-speak (i luv u, ok, watz up, etc.) to using real punctuation, like I do, now that she's seen that more people text me. She copied my idea for a funny voicemail. She wants to join all the clubs I'm in. I'm afraid if she does, all of my club friends will like her more than me too. I'm really sorry for the long story. But I really need help! How am I supposed to get my friends back? Do I need to shape myself too?

Public Comments

Ahh that sounds stressful. I get where you're coming from and it doesn't seem like you're exaggerating at all. And I know everyone says this blah blah blah, but it's true: be yourself. But that doesn't mean you can't shape yourself, as long as you don't feel like you have to lie and feel completely fake doing it.
Well, just be more outgoing. This has happened to me before. I hate those type of people who are new and fit right in, when you're the one who introduced her to everything. Answer mine please ! http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ainwb_9uW23_cKO4zj6xubnsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091102171407AAdPnX0
maybe your friends will like her more, after reading your life story i know i can't stand you, she sounds way cooler than you and probably half the whiner. "oh my friends like this other girl more waaah waaah" grow up
Ok, this happens all the time at my school. Some girls need a life BADLY! So heres the deal... do to her wat shes doin to u!!! Start formin into wat wat shes doin. Agree wit everything ur friends say. They'll start to like u again and more and more till shes outa the picture. I have had a bunch o girls do this to me and now they all have their own posies to be retarded for. Trust me it works! and once dis is done be u! its important to stay u!
The people like you just as much as they like her. My friend is having the same prob, accept it's worse cuz the girl has the same name as her! She takes her words and jokes, dresses like her, etc. It's really not as bad as it seems and if the people are worth being friends with, they'll pay more attention to you. Tell them you're hurt and tell her to stop being you! You be yourself and say you were number one and she's just mimicking you. I'd pick you over her any day, I like original people and I'm pretty sure she's just fake
Just continue to be yourself and who you are. Just because your friends like her, that doesn't mean they don't like you.
just be yourself dnt change it will help u alot more
its not she taking over you friend i dont want to be mean but she might be more interesting then you are get more close to friends hang out more go for running again try to get your friends back by getting closer invite them to a party to ur house but not stephanie and if anyone ask why she aint there say you forgot to txt her but try to avoid that question and yuor good and you shouldnt worry about her she is just jealous of you cuz of how you are thats the same exact thing that happen to me but it was just my best friend but i use to be popular i speak to everyone in skool i know whos who and whos new and then my friend too over all my friends but i didnt care cuz i'll still had friends n i lost contact wit some but my gurl was still there with me and we been friends now for 9 years soon to be 10 you just need to chill and not worry bout her and srry its long too lool
I can only relate to this as my cousin used to do and it drove me crazy. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but I disagree with that. Maybe you can get one or two of your friends aside and make a joke about "my clone" or something like that. I'm guessing this interloper isn't one bit prettier than you, btw. We never see ourselves as pretty until years later. You don't mention your age or what grade you're in but there's a certain age when girls think friendships are exclusive. They're not! If this girl wants to be friends with your friends and they don't mind, fine. But don't let that make you betray your friends. I'm sure it doesn't feel that way to you. But I'll bet they're getting kinda sick of her and would love to have the "real thing" back! I wish you luck and I will tell you from my experiences that those women who assume another's personality (and sometimes their style of dress and hair). In some sense they're in disguise. And often you discover in the end that they're dishonest in other ways, too.
You're not the only one! The reason she's doing this is because she was feeling out of place and you were the (sorry) weakest of your group, so she adopted the essence of you. When I say 'weakest' I mean that it could seem like you were out of place in your group and she thought that you were easily replaced, or that you were the nicest and wouldn't mind being copied and replaced. She probably isn't aware of your feelings, because most people that do that are doing it subconsciously and they always seem to choose the person who needs it the least. I think you need to try to become better friends with her or try your hand at things that people say only she can do. Also, you can comment whenever your friends talk about something great that she does, saying things like "yeah, unlike me...". This will tell your friends that you're feeling like you have no individuality anymore and they will probably ask you why you feel that way. If they don't get the hint, then just keep saying things like that. Also, you should get into a hobby that takes up some time, because it will be good to chanel any rage (no matter how big/small) and distract yourself. Try puzzles or writing a novel. But to raise your spirits, let me tell you this: Immitation is the most sincere form of flattery.
I think you need to remind yourself why she's doing what she's doing: she wants to be like you! It's a compliment, but one you're not thankful for. I don't think anybody would be. So, just talk to her and be honest. Tell her you feel like she's copying you and you're not sure why. You have to use "I-statements" and just figure out what's going on. As for your other friends, if they were true to you, they'd be there. They're obviously not, but that doesn't mean they don't still love ya! They might just not realize how you're feeling - you have to be the one to tell them. Be your own advocate! Just explain to them that you feel like you're loosing them. This has happened to me and that usually works, but if it doesn't, you're better off just waiting for them to realize that Steph isn't as great as she appears. If they don't realize it, they're not worth it. I know that's hard because you probably love your friends to death, but maybe next year they'll snap out of it. You can't control anybody but yourself, so just do what you can. I hope that helps you :-) Good luck!