Voicemail - What are some creative or funny voicemail greetings that you have heard?

What are some creative or funny voicemail greetings that you have heard?

My friend told me to call his co-workers office phone and the greeting went "Hi, my name is Mike. I'm asleep at my desk right now, and I wouldn't talk to you anyhow because this phone is for inter office use. Don't bother leaving your number unless you are a hot babe who needs me tonight."

Public Comments

When i was in college I had mine go "Hello (Long pause) oh hi how are you (Pause) Well I'm not in right now sorry." It fooled my grandma she couldn't figure out why I didn't want to talk to her.
My old one. It went something along these lines... "Hey! What's up...? Oh yeah...? Nothing much here... just bored... Oh, and by the way, I'm not here... leave a message." I remember this one time I was looking for my phone and I got the voicemail and I was like who the hell has my phone!? And then I realized it was my voicemail message.... how embarrassing.
My friends goes like this, "Hey, whats up....yup.....(as if it was really him talking)... well, you reached tylers viocemail so leave a emssage" The problem is, he answers the phone the same way so you always have to ask, "is this you for real" and his response is always "yea, you idiot." We have to say its someones turn to call him everytime we need to contacthim.
Thank you for calling Santa's workshop. Santa can't come to the phone right now, and the elves are out back barbecuing Blitzen. After the tone, please leave your Christmas list and maybe we'll get back to you!Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange...mother...unicorn. I'll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible. beep!
Something to the effect of: Hello.... if you are selling something, I don't want any. If you want donations, I gave at the office. If you want me to change my phone carrier, the answer is "no, don't call again." If you are offering a promo get-away to a resort, "yes" if I can I bring my 5 dogs and 10 cats. All other callers can leave a message at the beep.
...my son's....it goes like this (in his voice) Hello (pause) Hello (louder with another pause) oh...just jokin' with ya...leave a message So it sounds like he's actually answering the phone and you're into 2 or 3 sentences before you realize it's a recording....it's funny and annoying at the same time