Voicemail

I need funny voicemail messages to leave AFTER the beep.?

I do NOT want greeting messages. Does nobody understand the meaning of the word "AFTER"?? Jeez... cind427, that is funny lol. I'll have to try it sometime.

Public Comments

1. If this is the boss,Sorry,i've got anal glucoma and i just don't see my ass coming in today.Bye!
2. you stole my garden gnome ;)
3. "hello? hellooo???.........ru there? (say a few people u know...)gotcha!!! im not here rite now sucka!!!" or "get me a whopper!!!" or "immmaaa kkkiiillll uuuu!!!!!!" or a hecka long song that no1 will sit through. or this is a telepathic recording device, when u hear the beep, think about your name, #, and a brief message, and ill think about calling you back." that gets them every time. here's one for when u answer the fone and a creditor calls: "move the body over there." make it sound serious like ur at a murder scene and start questioning them...where were u yesterday? why ru calling? etc...freak them out!
4. you are being redirected to the police station... *beep*!
5. tag you're it whatta mean you're not gonna answer the phone....do you KNOW who this is???? (sarcasticly) fine, I didn't wanna talk to you anyway
6. Usually what I think is funny (most of the time), is when my friends or family, after the beep, say "hello? hello? Hey, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message!" Something to that effect. It gets everyone every freakin time because it makes it seem like you answered, but then they realize a few seconds later after they already started talking to you that you didn't. I think that's hilarious! Hope that helps!
7. This is not a voicemail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I'll think about returning your call. I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when Lol, hope they help!
8. hey btch wtf
9. POOKYDOH'S TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, I'm good now..wait a minute..what do YOU want?
10. Is this 911? I need some (click). I hope your out gambling and drinking and having more fun than me. This is the b burglar, since you are not home I am breaking in and stealing all your stuff. Mr. (Name) This is the (Blockbuster) and you've had "Steve and Steve Together volume 69: for two weeks. And please return "Big Brothers Make Little Brothers Cry volume 34".