Voicemail

kno of any funny voicemail messages?? thanx :)?

Public Comments

1. hello thank you for calling american idol casting office!!! if you are a girl sing irreaplaceable by beyonce and if you are a boy sing your beautiful by james blunt as loud as you can. once again thank you for calling american casting office
2. Just record the message like you would answer the phone. Be like: " Hello, hello, hello, is anyone there, hello, can you hear me, hello" It'll piss people off for sure.
3. talk like you just answered the phone..... Hello? Who is this? Why are you talking to my answering machine? *Beeeep* Or something like that.......
4. Bob's voicemail is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. You know what I hate about voicemail messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you This is not a voicemail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I'll think about returning your call. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks. You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message. I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is a voicemail? Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe you don't really exist. One way to find out is to leave a message, and if its reality, I will call you back I'm not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow. So please leave a message after the tone. I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow. So if you don't leave a message after the tone; you might have to deal with me in person. Bob has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message; I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away. Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I don’t know, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye These words are lovely dark and deep But I've got promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep So leave a message at the beep Thank you for calling Santa's workshop. Santa can't come to the phone right now, and the elves are out back barbecuing Blitzen. After the tone, please leave your Christmas list and maybe we'll get back to you! Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange...mother...unicorn. I'll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible No! No! Not that! Anything but that! Not the beep! No! Please! Not the beep! Anything but the beep! AHHHHHHH! This is a test. This is a test of the Voice Mail Broadcasting System. This is only a test. Hello... Do you ever get the ones where someone says "Hello!", and there's a long pause, so you think you're talking to an actual person. Then you begin speaking, and after you say about two words you hear, "We can't come to the phone right now.” I really hate that! Hi. This is Bob. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you... Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used against you. Hi you've reached the rejection hotline and that means you've been rejected by the person you're trying to call. We don't want you, but maybe if you leave a message we might think about returning your call