Voicemail - Do you have any unique/funny ideas of what I can say on my voicemail?

Do you have any unique/funny ideas of what I can say on my voicemail?

Public Comments

"County morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em."
Act as if you answered the phone I did that once and heard my friend talk on my message for like 3 minutes
I'd Google funny answering greetings
I'm glad I don't have to call you. I hate it when my friends try to be clever on their voicemail, it's stupid.
Yes, the link below is on my voice mail.
i got it! just say hey whats up? and thats it..odds are they won't hear the beep cuz they're too busy talking thinking its you
act as if your really there and be like 'hey whatsup buddy!' and say "im not here right now, please leave a msg"
George Costanza's "I'm not at home" theme. :D
Go onto goodquotes.com and there's some really funny answering machine things one there. Some are really stupid though.
Thelma Harper just said "It's YOUR dime, spill it."
haha, well this is a lilttle weird, but its kinda funny. On mine, I'll be like "hello?" So it actually seems like im answering my phone, and then about 5 seconds later, I'll put my ealy message. It works everything, they would feel so stupid beacuse they were talking to themselves. You wont believe how many people I got with that, hehe... Well, Much Love. ~Ghina
...so i supposed to say something when the red light blinks on?... its already recording?...THAT red light?...nah, thats a ladybug...wait, nevermind.... Hi, you reached the (Your last name) residence! I cant call back to you because... You ate all the ham!?...and you need 20 bucks?... No its not recording...is it? nah...
hey...it's me..I'm not here right now...well I am here NOW but later when you cal..which would be now I won't be here..so leave a message and I'll call ya later... later
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhhzwjt2AG0 best machine message ever!! go george!
Take a funny one liner like from a movie or quote your favorite song. Like something I remember from Ferris Bueller's Day Off was when Ferris said "I don't believe in John Lennon, I just believe in me." So you could just take something one line out of the blue and use that. Or have someone that can do an impersonation of someone famous do it for you. I have a friend that did a John Wayne voice for another friend's voicemail and it was funny.
1.) Well here comes the beep...Hope ya know what to do with it. 2.) Hello?.....oh hey.....was up? oh. i suggest you get a life your talking to a answering machine *always gets me*
If this is a telemarketer, leave your name and number and when you eat dinner, I'll return your call.
Hi thank you for calling FavoredbyU To leave a message press 1 To connect with me at home press 2 If this is an emergency hang up and dial 911 If at this point you are still waiting I feel sorry for you. Leave a message after the tone. (make a beep sound) pause.... pause... pause... let the recording run out. Do this with backround music that is really annoying!! I did it and it was fun hearing the comments made
A friend of mine had a message on her voice mail that went something like "Hey - this is xxxxx. I'm not available right now. I'm making some changes in my life. Leave a message. If I don't get back to you - you're one of the changes. Later!"
The best one I've ever heard is somebody who actually recorded the triple beep followed by "The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected or is no longer in service". If you didn't hold on for about 10 seconds after it went silent, you would really think you dialed a disconnected number.
"hello? i can barley understand u. ok now i can. wait who is this? haha now leave ur message!"
Hi. Amazing as it may seem, the communications officer is not on the bridge right now. Leave a message at the tone, and I will get to it during one of the unending watch periods coming up. You've reached the Mirror Enterprise. We are busy expanding the Empire. If you are a new planet waiting to be conqured, press 1. If you are an Empire planet wishing independence, press 2. Traitors wanting a demonstration of our Tantalus Field, Press 3 For your pleasure while waiting, Kevin Reily will sing "Kathleen," ONE MORE TIME! Hello, this is Starfleet Command. If you're calling for information about Starfleet Academy, press one. If you're calling to infiltrate the command structure with a parasitical alien, press two. If you're calling to bomb the Golden Gate Bridge, press three. If you would like to speak to an attendant, press four. Hello. You have reached the Prophets. Please stand by. This is the Tribble re-homing facility. We're having a few logistical problems at present. PLEASE DON'T MAIL US ANY MORE!!!" This is Montgomery Scott. I won't be able to reply to your message for a week, but since you don't have a week it will only be a few hours.
How about: The owner of this voice and voicemail are presently unavailable, but please be sufficed kindly to leave a message and the time you called.... thank you. Good luck.
DON'T CALL ME AND I WON'T CALL YOU
I always did this in my car.. so it sounds more believable with the backround noise... start off with your music turned up really loud in your car, then answer: Hello? Huh? Hello? (act annoyed) Hold on let me turn down my radio... then slowly turn it down until its low enough so you can "hear" them.. then say: ok, thats better.... hello? (they respond) say: uhhhhh... Hello? Dang phone! hold on I still cant hear you! (act more annoyed) fumble around with your phone then answer again very impatiently: HELLO!??? Ok What? Wait.. (pause) Who is this? (pause) WHO?!?! Ya know I can't understand a word your saying! Just leave a message.. ok? Then let the beep go and the rest is history... I really agrivates people but its funny cuz they think its real!